The Deep End of the Pool

Dear Rebekah. I am answering this comment through a post because I am absolutely sure that parents all over the US are feeling exactly like you - overwhelmed. Here you are with five children, count them, five! Three in school and then two little ones, age three.  And then you have to be a teacher, too, without a teaching degree, along with laundry, dinners to cook, beds to make, all the daily living chores and activities that make up a  household. 

On top of all that, some of you are not sheltering in place, but showing up for your jobs as essential personnel. Of course you are feeling like you are in the “deep end of the pool.” That is because you are. In fact, some families are so fed up that some suggest canning this whole home school thing and begin again fresh next school year. With that being said, there is no way yet of telling what will happen in education until decisions are made state-wide and locally. In the meantime, you are absolutely right. This whole situation is disrupting and disturbing. You are definitely heard! 

Hence, no matter how much I talk about schedules and how to manage education at home, I recognize, and so do all of my friends out there, that there is a true emotional impact to all of this. 

This is just my thinking. Perhaps, we need a psychologist to weigh in. This is just my thinking and suggestions, and most of you have probably already done the following. From an educational standpoint, however, I think we are best off if we acknowledge feelings about this situation, our own and those of your students. It does no good to pretend that all is well when it is not. Provide assurance to your students that this will not last forever, and we need to work together as a family and community during this very strange time in history. Determine what is negotiable and what is not. For example, it is not negotiable that we do not learn and do not get the work done. It may be negotiable how and when we get the work done. Those nonnegotiables and negotiables depend very much on your own family situation and the academic standing and maturity of your own students. Keep in mind, however, that the more you can provide a structure where everyone is working at the same time the easier it will be to manage. 

Recognize and say something to this effect, “Yes, this is hard. Let’s take a break and go for a walk. Tell me how you feel. What can we do to make this better. Let’s problem solve.” Some of the suggestions will be helpful and some will be just venting and unreasonable. Integrate suggestions as much as possible within the framework of the structure of requirements of your student’s school and your own family needs. Provide as much control for the students as you can. Everyone wants to have control over their own lives, especially when we have yielded so much control to others even about how and when we leave the house. The more the world feels totally out of control, the more we need to feel in control, at least over our small imprint. Here’s an example of just one way to allow students to have more control: Let’s say that 10 – 12 is study time with assignments in math, science, and language arts. The students can each choose in what order they want to tackle the assignments. Have them write down a list of what they will do first and then next and check off as they complete each one. There’s an advantage to this also. It makes it easy for you to look at the list and determine that students are on track with assignments. Depending upon the maturity of each one of your students, you will know if you need to check further to ensure that the assignments are completed to the required level and submitted.

Make sure you are listening to your students feelings, and your own, but not allowing the feelings, except in unusual circumstances, to become an excuse for avoiding responsibilities. It takes balance. Trust yourself. Only you know your family.

And here’s the final idea. Have as part of the schedule an independent reading time where all your students at the same time, even those very little ones, retreat to their separate corners for a nap, reading a book, or listening to a story on tape. This activity is for you, to maintain your sanity, in the midst of this crazy time. Take a rest and have a bubble bath if you can find even that one minute of peace. You all need it! 

I invite comments, suggestions, ideas. 

If you have questions that I might be able to answer generally, please email me. Please keep in mind that this blog is for suggestions that may or may not work. Here is the disclaimer, professional advice requires much more in-depth information and contact and is beyond the scope of this blog.  email: gail.coulter@outlook.com