Parallel Play – Let the little ones lead us

Children play alongside each other, engaging in separate activities with occasional check-ins, but not necessarily interacting. Parallel play is not limited to just children playing together separately, but also can be children playing next to a parent while the parent is working. For example, a young child might build blocks while the parent pays bills on the computer. The parent becomes a model about what work looks like. This concept can be used with older students while homeschooling, across ages and grades. In this case, instead of parallel play, it could be called parallel work. So, how does this apply in this age of COVID-19.

Currently, most parents ask their children to work on their own, completing assignments for school and submitting on time. This is often the case when parents themselves are working from home or attending college on-line and cannot directly supervise their students’ schoolwork.  And I want to be clear that this oeprates just fine for many students. Some students can easily stay on task, take initiative, and can accomplish their goals. Each student in your family does not need the same amount of support. Be very grateful if you have one or more student like this in your family. In reality, however, a family is composed of different types of children. Some who need more social contact  and/or the ones who have some difficulty staying on task. In those cases, no amount of coercion, threats, and promises are going to keep that focus on schoolwork. One way that might be helpful is “parallel work,” thus, extrapolating concepts from early childhood parallel play. Most importantly, the model of parallel work is functions as a scaffold for students to eventually expedite working independently (i.e., goal setting and completion of work with focus and attention)

Some suggestions from early childhood literature that might be most helpful for “parallel work” are the following:

Set up workstations. Determine a place dedicated specifically for work. This place should be away from normal daily activities. It may be a room in the house or a spot in the corner of the kitchen. In one case, a family retreats to their RV, a perfect office away from home. Gather all materials needed for both you and your work partner (e.g., books, notepads, calculators, pencils)

Create a work environment.  Eliminate daily distractions, including cell phones, television, loud music. Keep the environment quiet and relaxed.  It is helpful also to schedule daily chores outside the working hours. For example, resist throwing in a load of laundry during working time. Keeping in mind, you are setting an example, model how work is done. This is very important for a student, so much more effective than lecturing, which often includes do as I say, not as I do. 

Set goals.  Set goals for yourself. Make it clear to the student what you will accomplish. Model it for your work partner, and helping them determine exactly what will be completed. Make sure that the goals are realistic and reasonable goals for the end of the work time, not too easy and not too hard. The goal might be to complete an English assignment and upload to the school platform. This helps the student see that there is an end to the work for that day. The number of goals the student sets will be based upon needs of the student. Some can handle two or three goals. Others only one. 

Limit choices.If there are too many choices for the student, it can be overwhelming. To be most productive, specifically choose one or two work options for that one time period and have associated goals. 

Set expectations. Make sure that you have set reasonable expectations for working together. Some expectations might be the following: (a) work until break time, (b) work quietly, (c) ask questions only after you have tried it first, (d) interrupt only when necessary.

Determine reasonable incentives and consequences.Students need incentives for accomplishing their goals. I mean after all, when you get off  work, you want to kick off your shoes and slouch a few minutes on the couch before tackling dinner preparations. So, at the end of work time, electronics (phone, tv, computers) or other forms of amusement might be reinstated. Also, keep in mind that students do not need to spend the entire time in parallel work. Your job or tasks might require six hours a day, but your student may need only one or two hours. So, adjust as needed. 

Happy working together for both young and old. 

I invite comments, suggestions, ideas. 

If you have questions that I might be able to answer generally, please email me. Please, keep in mind that this blog is for suggestions that may or may not work. Here is the disclaimer, professional advice requires much more in-depth information and contact and is beyond the scope of this blog.  email: gail.coulter@outlook.com.